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I can only speak from the heart, its the only place my words form.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

My Dearest Allie,

Oscar Wilde : "When a love comes to an end, weaklings cry, efficient ones instantly find another love, and the wise already have one in reserve."
I read this quote and all I could think of was "Damn am I that weakling? Did I not deserve your love?" From the moment I thought I knew what love was I tried to define it in everyone I came across; that is until I met you. There was something about the mere essence of you that made me change my views which I thought was absolutely impossible. I could never understand how I fell so quick or how I managed to let you in without my own knowledge. Now and days I feel like its my own Karma coming back at me for pretending with all others instead of waiting and trying to build and prepare myself for you but I guess at the time that was impossible. Never knew to prepare myself for the inevitable love which was the most powerful feeling that I have ever felt. I remember the ending and the tears and how my world crumbled at my own hands and there was nothing I could do. I couldn't find the words to erase it nor did I know the actions needed to save it so I stood emotion less like a child being scolded and let the cookies crumbled where ever they had chosen. I mean what was I to do scream? Yell? All at the cost of what soar lungs and still a broken heart which couldn't tackle the complexity of the shield you put up to keep me out! To this day I still thing of tactics or obstacles I could have done differently but the truth of the matter is it wouldn't have done anything.
The worst part now is knowing you're happily in love and I'm still stuck finding someone to refill the whole your presence left as if its even possible. Not tryna ruin what you have but I won't ever give up faith that we will be together again. Maybe not now maybe not a year from now but in due time because this heart of mine....it knows where its meant to be. Sadly. Its making me sick knowing someone else makes you smile, makes you laugh, touches you where I should be touching you, kissing you where I kiss you. I know it might sound crazy but believe me I know. I got a sick obsession for that treasure chest in your chest and I can't seem to live without it. I've moved on recently, well apparently not successfully considering the fact that I still think, smell, miss you. I just can't seem to contain the feelings I've once felt or muffle the sounds of your sweet I love you's though they're long gone. I miss you. I Am In Love With You.

Signed,
Forever Waiting Noah

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Letter #2

My Dearest Allie,
Today the air smells like the lack there of, of the perfume you can never wear because of your sensitive skin. Oh how I miss that sweet skin I used to kiss when the lights dimmed, Those luscious lips that used to taste like a sip of heaven. I think about you every day. Do you think of me? Do you miss me? I wonder. Feeling like ne-yo "Do you ever think of me anymore, Do You?" Its crazy remember when we used to lay in bed every night, you never knew it but I used to listen to you breath...slow...smooth...sweet. Unless you were sick, then you sounded like a wilder beast trapped under a truck in the middle of Nova Scotia. Lmfao just joking.
I can't believe I love you and not just love you but crazy over the hill in love seeing your face in everyone I'm with regretting anyone who tries to attempt to take you're spot in love with you. Crazy huh? I Know. I wish there was a remedy that I could take to make the memories fade but it would fail because I'd look into your eyes and fall all over again. *Sigh* Its crazy how I feel for you but all the words I wanna say I can't because now you're happy and I'm happy for you, though ill wait. True love never dies no matter how many times you try to refill a spot that's already been filled.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Letter #1

Dear Love,
It's been awhile since ive told you i loved you or held you how i want to; or even made you smile the way i once promised to. I remember how we first met, you came over to talk to my best friend and i tried not to make eye contact with you. There was something about you though at that time i didn't know what it was. Before long i was in your room just hanging out and not soon after we shared our first kiss....
There hasn't been a day that has gone by that i haven't thought about the way you make me feel. It's kind of crazy i never knew i could ever fall for someone the way i have fallen for you. The ending of us felt like Karma in a way. For all the ones i lied to about being in love with. I guess this is what it feels like to be in love and not have the person share those same feelings. Its crazy i never in a million years would have thought that this could happen to me. *Sigh* Whenever i see you my heart implodes every time and it always feels like the first time we kissed. My hands get sweaty, my knees get weak, and i can barely breathe. It's crazy but i'm glad you're happy. Even though its not with me. But know one thing, I will always love you, like the sun in the sky, like the moon at night my heart will always know that you are its guiding light.

Signed,
Inspired by Noah

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